Recovery
It has been a rough two weeks. The past two weeks has been a real test of my mental and physical capacities. First, my partner got sick with some kind of serious stomach bug. It caused her to be sick with nausea, vomitting, and severe diarrhea. She had gotten so sick that she was not able to eat for at least three to four days. Her blood pressure got down real low, but she still refused to go to the doctor. You see she is not insured. She has zero health insurance so going to the doctor takes of huge chunk out of our already small budget. She refused to go to the emergency room for the same reason. She was afraid of the cost. Even when the nurse at the free clinic told her to go, my partner refused. She thought that she could just drink plenty of fluids and eat soft bland foods would do the trick, but it didn’t. Over a few days she got worse. She was real weak, drowsy, and lethargic. Finally I got her to go to the local drug store to get her blood pressure check. It was way low. I mean really really really low. So, I forced my partner to go see her doctor at another clinic. She agreed to go. When she got there she was barely able to stand up or sit up. She looked and acted as if she could have passed out at any moment. I was extremely worried.
The nurse finally called her on back took her blood pressure and was certain that the blood pressure cuff was defective so she tried again. My partner’s blood pressure had even dropped more. So they rushed her in a room and started an IV with fluids in it. It turns out that my partner was dehydrated from her illness. She was so dehydrated that the doctor said if she went another day without getting help she could have died. That sent me right over the edge. I tried to be brave and act like I could handle that news, but down deep I knew I couldn’t.
While my partner was sick I took care of everything around the house. I am usually not used to such responsibility because my partner is the one that usually handles most of the day to day business of the house. I cook and clean, but that is about it. For the first time in our relationship I had to take the helm. I was nervous and scared because I did not know what all I had to do. But I accepted this role even though I was not certain where to start first. I took the responsibility of caring for the household, caring for my partner, and caring for the animals. I was stressed, but knew I could do it even if I didn’t know from time to time what I was doing.
After my partner got an IV, she felt better. I could tell that she was going to be okay. But the stress of it all triggered a manic episode. At first, I was like “Yay! A manic episode. What fun!”, but after a few days of no sleep I started to feel drained and irritable. So I had to go to my doctor and get a medication adjustment. Unfortunately, my insurance company wouldn’t pay for my new dosage without pre approval. I couldn’t believe it. The pharmacy was able to give me some medication to tide me over until the pre-approval process is done, but there are no guarantees that they will cover the cost of my prescrition’s new dose. Which means that the medicine I depend on to keep my mental illness on track and in remission will cost me over $500.00 to have filled. I am on disability. My income is so limited that I will never have that kind of money to pay for my meds. So, what does one do? I am researching on how to get medications free from the drug companies. I have to do something, because without my medication my illness will get progressively worse and I could end up in the hospital. That is one place I don’t want to be.
My partner is better now. She still has moments of weakness and is still a wee bit drowsy at times, but she is still here. I am grateful for her. I just wish that she would get her disability so she can get the medical care she needs when she needs it instead of having to worry about where the money for the doctor visit is going to come from. In the meantime, I will keep praying that there will be a time when we are not in such dire straits financially and hope that there will come a time when we don’t have to worry about the cost of medications or doctor visits.